Play as a form of Healing

"What is real play?" A parent once asked me.

Real play, is an imaginary game stemming from the child. Children express and process expriences through play. It is our way of expressing and realizing emotions.

What makes play theraputic?

Here are some key points:

• The Focus is on enjoying and not on the outcome (all mammals play, it’s spontaneous)

• It is make pretend. (i.e. It is fun to play peek-a-boo, but not fun when I lose my parent in the mall.)

• It allowes for self expression and exploration, it stems from within.

• The Play is a bubble outside of real life with clear beginning and end borders, and in the context of a safe relationship.

What is healing about playing?

1. It Allows for expression of complex and unresolved issues, and brings relief.

2. Play brings our emotional system to rest (think of yourself when you do something you love like singing, movement, expressive writing...)

3. Play can soften our defenses and release tears that are stuck.

4. Play is essential to our developement- it is where learning happens.

5. Play allows children to practice life in a safe space and process things they cannot express verbally yet.

6. Expressive Play helps reduce agression in kids.

7. The base to our ability to see others’ needs is our ability to know ourselves first. This process is supported through Play.

   
   

Let's talk about emtions for a minute.

What are emotions?

Emotions are our brain feedback about our state of being, or how we are being effected.

Our defense systems can shut off our access to emtions in different states of survival mode.

When that happens, we are unaware of our emtions, but our inner state is the same. (Stress hormones are visible in the blood).

The key to mental health and well being (in children and adults) is access to emotions. The contents vary and are all normal.

When emotions are blocked off- we lose touch with difficult emtions (e.g. loneliness, dissapointment, abandonment) as well as more pleasant ones (satisfaction, love, caring).

So how do we support play?

Here are few tips:

1. Allow kids to play with less instructions, and less stimuli to allow for play to derive from them.

2. Value the joy in the process of things rathen then outcomes and “success”. Instead of rewards, you can use playfulness to get things done.

3. Play is free of consequences- (e.g. a child can pretend to “cut” a doll or “kill” someone.) They also use play to tell us if they are overwhelved or are exposed to something harmful.

4. Try practicing short periods of time when you are playing with your child without instructing, let them lead and try to be excepting and less judgemental.

"What brings you joy?"

Try to find the playfulness in your own life. What brings you joy? What do you enjoy doing- and not only for the outcome of it? Anything expressive can be play. Some adults like to draw, paint, sing, dance, play an instrument, spend time in nature.

Explore your own creativity and find what activities you can do that bring you joy and invite your kids to join you.

Let me know what you've found!